


Self-Reflections

by LienaYongFa



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e12 Last Refuge, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6691210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LienaYongFa/pseuds/LienaYongFa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short missing scene after Mick confronts his younger self about starting the fire.  Mary Xavier tries to reach out to the troubled teen.  She gives him baby Snart to look after again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self-Reflections

I watch the guy from A.R.G.U.S. stomp off.  At least that group says they’re from some secret agency called A.R.G.U.S.  I’m not sure I believe them, but any other explanation I can come up with is a lot scarier.  So I just nodded stupidly when they struggled to come up with that story on the spot.  Everyone thinks I’m an idiot anyway.  Why wouldn’t I buy that?

A few minutes later, the two women from before step out of another room down the hallway and head for the front door.  They don’t notice me with another lit match between my fingers as they go, but then some guy I haven’t seen before follows them out.  He turns in my direction.  It’s almost as if he senses me behind him.  Or maybe it’s only the match.

He takes a step towards me, and his lips tremble like he wants to say something.  His eyes are softer than the other guy’s.  He’s not angry.  I can tell.  He looks like he’s going to move closer, but then he thinks better of it.  His eyes close, and his lips form into a frozen smile as he turns around and leaves without a word.

I don’t know how long I stand in the hallway just watching the flame before the lady in charge of this place comes around and takes it from me.  Mary something?  Xavier?  Yeah, like the comics.  I’m at the school for the _gifted_.  No wonder I don’t fit in.

“I won’t allow that in my house, young man.”  She looks at me sternly, expecting a response.

“Yes, ma’am…  Ms. Xavier,” I answer.  I’ll find another match later anyway.  For a second, I think about calling her by her first name but then think better of it.  She doesn’t scare me, but I don’t need the trouble right now.

Her expression softens.  “Do you want to talk about it?  Your family…”

“No.”

“How about playing with some of the other kids?  A little exercise could do you good.”

“I don’t want to.”

She frowns and looks at me with something like pity.   I hate it.  “Stay here a moment,” she tells me before disappearing down the hall.  I’m tempted to just walk off.  But then, where would I go?

When my _caretaker_ returns, she’s holding the same baby I was forced to look after before.  She puts him directly in my arms.  “Here.  He’s freshly changed and fed.  He’s all ready for you.”

“Why are you giving him to me?”

“He prefers you to everyone else who’s held him.”

Even I know that’s not true.  “He wasn’t born that long ago.  How can he prefer anyone?”

“He’s very smart.  I can tell.”

So, the opposite of me?  I’m not sure I like this kid anymore.

Ms. Xavier touches my cheek.  “There are different kinds of intelligence.”  She smiles gently and without pity.  “You’re very perceptive.  You also have good instincts.” 

I lift my eyes to her face.  For the first time, I want to talk about the fire.  I want to tell her how my _good instincts_ had me running outside of the house instead of trying to save my family from the disaster I started.  Didn’t I love my mother enough?  Shouldn’t my instincts have led me to protect my own, especially when it was all my fault?  I want to tell her.  I open my mouth to do it.  But I don’t.  I can’t.

She nods at me understandingly.  “Why not take him outside for a bit?  He could use some fresh air.  You know where his crib is when you’re done?”

“Yeah.”  I do take the kid out and start walking around the grounds, no idea where I’m going.  Eventually, I find a lone bench and sit down, the baby still wrapped safely in my arms.  I look down at him.  He is kind of cute.  I do wonder why I was trusted with him, especially unsupervised, after what I’ve done.

“I don’t even know your name,” I tell him.  “Some babysitter, huh?”  He moves a hand across his face and then tries to grab at my shirt. 

I hold his little wrist in my palm.  It’s amazing how tiny it is.  I can feel my lips twist into a real smile for the first time since the fire.  “It’s going to be okay.  I’ll protect you until we can all go home.”  It’s not like I have a home to go back to, but I might as well protect someone.

The kid eventually gets fussy, and I take him back inside for his nap.  I place him inside the crib and watch him as he falls asleep.  For just a little while, everything feels calm and peaceful.  I know it won’t last.  I know that soon the itch for another match will be too much.  Soon, I’ll go back into the hallway to watch that little flame.  But for just this moment, this baby is enough to distract me and make me feel almost normal again.


End file.
